In my opinion the most important thing in the world is love. It brings joy and fulfillment to life. The minute we are born as tiny infants, we are searching for love. It’s the most precious gift that you can give or receive. And I take it pretty seriously. I have this thing I say. It has been my ‘thing’ for as long as I can remember actually… “Love you mean it!” I say it to everyone that I love at one point or another. You will find me texting it to my kids when I am thinking about them. I call it out to my family when we are saying goodbyes. I sign my friend’s birthday cards with it… Because…it’s my ‘thing.’ And it makes perfect sense to me. But recently one of my family members asked me about it.
“Why do you say love you mean it?” he asked. “I mean if you tell someone that you love them isn’t it understood that you mean it?”
“Umm…not really.” I replied. “I know you remember my X…” My X was obviously didn’t love me. He didn’t know the meaning of the word love. At least not unconditional love. Which is my kind of love. His was the kind of love that he could give…and then take back. And he obviously isn’t alone. Some people are unable to recognize the value of love from another person. Maybe they are more focused on how much they love themselves? Maybe they never had a good example when they were growing up? Or maybe they are too cowardly to face the vulnerability that comes with loving someone more than they love themselves? Or perhaps…they are just assholes.
For me love is everything. It’s like sunshine and oxygen. I know that I need it. I know that I want it. I want to give it to others. Nothing brings me more happiness. Love is wonderful. It’s necessary. I have no delusions that it is optional. To say it is important would be an understatement! And I’m talking about all kinds of love. The almost indescribable love between a parent and child. It is literally like nothing else! The precious love between family members. The enriching love you find between friends. And one of the most spectacular loves of all…romantic love. The peaceful feeling of finding your ‘person.’ So when people fail to see the value that love brings to their lives…I’m shocked. Throwing away love…any love… is like squishing a beautiful butterfly without a hint of remorse. Who would do that? That would be cruel!
But…not everyone agrees with me about love. And I’ve learned that the hard way. Some will choose to go their entire lives without experiencing true unconditional love. It’s to hard for them! It requires to much truth. To much vulnerability. So they are able to disregard the love of others and replace it instead with love of self. They convince themselves that all they really need is ‘them.’ They are like an island. They stand alone. They are strong and independent! And someone better may come along anyway. They don’t need anyone… Or at least that’s what they tell themselves. But I’m not convinced. To me it seems like a cavalier attitude. One that may catch up with them someday…
But for me…I won’t make that mistake. Even when my ability to ‘hang on to love’ seems like a detriment. It takes me a long time to give up on people. (Probably way to long…sigh.) But I don’t care. At least I won’t ever be a quiter. I want to make sure that those that I love know that I love them. And that I mean it. No matter what. And I will never take it back.
So feel free to quote me to the people that are important in your lives….
“Love you mean it.” Divorce Shoes
Divorce Shoes 