Perspective…

It’s a funny thing about perspective isn’t it? It very rarely matches anyone else’s. Your perspective is uniquely your own. Like your fingerprint.  It’s made up of your feelings. Your memories.  Your experiences. Your personality.

Divorce is definitely a he said/she said situation. And if you’re divorced-it’s obvious that they don’t match. Divorce is the ULTIMATE he said/she said situation.  But so is marriage really. You are committed to each other-theoretically.  But each person has their own story. And they believe it! It’s their truth.  It’s their perspective. I remember someone telling me once something about the truth being ‘somewhere in the middle.’ Somewhere between the he and the she. I thought that was a brilliant description! But of course everyone believes their own shit. And a lot of it is shit. But that doesn’t stop us. It’s human nature! And we all know how stupid humans are.  Your ability to respect someone else’s perspective can be the difference between ‘Happily Ever After’ and ‘Fuck Off.’

For me- this blog is my perspective. My opinion. It’s definitely not an autobiography.  It’s not the Gospel. It’s not my diary. It’s just a jumble of my thoughts…my feelings…my humor. Some serious. Some not. Some truth-some fiction?  It just depends on who you ask.  It’s like Wikipedia. It’s informative-but not necessarily a reliable source. (At least according to my kids Language Arts teachers…but for the record I think they are being a little bit picky.) There is nothing groundbreaking here.  It’s like US Weekly-if I was Tori Spelling. (It’s entertainment not news!) Or Facebook-since I’m a middle aged single mom that isn’t even close to famous.  My story is not my X’s. I’m pretty positive he would call bullshit on the whole entire thing. And that’s okay. No surprise there. It’s no different than our marriage. He didn’t like my perspective much then either. And he never thought I was very funny.

But guess what? My divorce has had a few positive things to add to my life. Besides the obvious perk of not being married to someone who doesn’t love you. Someone who finds themselves ‘so unhappy’ and btw… it’s apparently because of you. Divorce can help you find your voice. Find clarity. Find healing. As I tell my kids- every experience is a learning experience. That includes your life falling apart during an unexpected divorce. But maybe with all that pain- opportunity presents itself.

An opportunity to make someone laugh!  Someone think. Or give someone something to do while they are waiting for their name to be called at the doctor’s office. (Or probably more likely-while hiding out in the bathroom just to get a moment to themselves…because they are a divorced single mom…and those moments are hard to come by.) So I have the opportunity to inspire someone who is trying to walk in a brand new pair of divorce shoes. And we all know a new pair of shoes can be uncomfortable at first.

And just so you know. One thing I’m always serious about is my shoes.

***And just one more thing to mention. In the divorce WITH children. They have a perspective too. And in the end- it will be the one that really matters.