God Hates Divorce? Really? Join the club.
So here’s what happened. I’m was driving down one of the busiest streets in my small town with my daughter. It was a sunny day and we were both in a happy mood. I had on my cutest sunglasses. We were enjoying being together and not thinking about any of our negatives. We had the music up loud and were singing along. We were positive! We innocently pull up to wait at a red light. And what do we see? Some assholes with large white signs and apparently lots of time to kill.
GOD HATES DIVORCE! DIVORCE IS SIN! SINNERS WILL BE WELCOMED IN HELL!
Really people? With everything going on in the world..divorce is your issue? Have you people even watched Fox News lately? I live in a pretty small town. Not a lot of picketers or protesters. We’ve never had a riot. (Besides a couple of issues on Black Friday at Wal-Mart. Learned my lesson there..) Their presence- these evangelistic picketers- was noteworthy. To say they stood out would be an understatement. I watched my daughters face as she read the signs and there meaning registered. Her cheeks got red. She was upset. It’s like a dark cloud rolled in. She glanced at me anxiously while she tried to gauge my reaction.
And I was trying hard to have the most nonchalant reaction possible. But it wasn’t working. I shrugged. But I know myself well enough to know that my cheeks were red. I was angry. And embarrassed. And sad. I tried to be reassuring..but the truth was that those signs exposed another bit of self doubt I carry around deep down. Is divorce a sin? Am I really going to burn in hell?
I believe in God. I was brought up in the Episcopal church-but we didn’t go every Sunday. I joined the Methodist church when I married my X. I’m not any expert on religion. My faith is a mixture of churches and experiences I’ve had throughout my life. I’ve never read the entire bible. (Unless you count the Children’s bible I used to read my kids at bedtime.) I have a very dear friend who helped me tons during my divorce. And she has a very strong faith. She was/is my go to person on religious stuff. I remember asking her if divorce is a sin. And she searched to come up with an answer. I mean I hear people say that it is. Why would mine be any different? She tried hard to reassure me. But she was at a loss for words. She even wrote out bible verses for me to read to make me feel better. But the truth is I still feel like something as bad as divorce has a good chance of ranking under the sin category.
But to the assholes standing on corners with picket signs about divorce. Go home. Stop judging. Stop scaring little girls. Worry about your own Sin.
I’ve got the worrying about mine covered..
(PS.. When I think about pulling up to that stoplight now…I regret one thing. I should have taught my daughter how to wave with her middle finger. If I’m already going to hell…I might as well go with high heels and attitude.🖕🏻👠).
Divorce Shoes 
That’s a misunderstanding. There was a certain type of divorce that was a problem thousands of years ago in ancient Israel. It was called ‘putting away’ – men would marry women and then find fault with them, even for things as minor as burning a meal. Since divorce consisted of saying out loud “I divorce this woman” in public, it was extremely easy for guys to go through a string of wives, marrying them, taking their dowry money and refusing to return it, and casting out their ex-wives into the streets not caring about what happens to them or the fact that they can’t really provide for themselves, not only that – their children were considered their father’s property so they would be separated from their mother and the mother would be separated from her children. This was the kind of divorce that God hated. Nowhere in Scripture does it say that divorce is a sin and nowhere does it say that those who commit divorce are going to hell. Even God used the metaphor of divorce to explain his relationship to ancient Israel. Sadly, there are many legalistic Christians out there who demand moral perfection – for them marriage is easy and they don’t understand why it’s not as easy for everyone else as it is for them. They think they understand what the Bible means when they see the words “God hates divorce” and they go around preaching the message they understand. Looking at Jesus’ interaction with women, he treated them with the utmost respect – be it the woman at the well who had five husbands and wasn’t married to the one she was with, the woman caught in adultery, the syro-phonecian woman who asked for Jesus to heal her daughter even though she was a foreigner. Christians who fail to follow Jesus’ example are certainly failing to follow Jesus’ teachings.
LikeLike
To be transparent, I’m spiritual and don’t follow any particular religion. I do, however, pray and speak to a higher power or maybe just the universe. I ask for love, guidance, and strength when I’m in need. Sometimes I just send out gratitude for all the little things in life. I don’t want to take it for granted 😌. My biological grandmother was a Christian Reverend, who was very religious and didn’t particularly believe in divorce herself. However, I’m grateful for her insights on matters like these that are particularly contentious. God is love. Sometimes things don’t work out, and it’s just better for everyone involved. Sure, pour your heart into it and do what you can to make it work-but sometimes, it just doesn’t. It’s not a sin, it’s life. If you make your choices with high integrity and respect for yourself and others then you are acting out of love, not sin. When you both felt your face get red, that’s shame. Shame says ” you’re not good enough. You made a bad choice and now you will burn”. There are always critics, there will always be someone quick to judge. In my mind, THEY are the sinners because purposefully trying to instill shame in others is the antithesis to unconditional love, which is all God is about.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now, I’m not bible expert, but I think what people forget is that there is a lot in the bible that we don’t follow thru and won’t “go to hell” for. It was once believed that God expected certain animal sacrifices to be redeemed and not go to hell….you don’t see us slaughtering goats in time square and smearing blood everywhere. Things change, even what things that were seen as right or wrong during those times have changed….after all, the bible was written by men and their perspective.
LikeLike