Omg…Hoarders is on. I love Hoarders. It brings back memories.. Its a wretched show…a train wreck of human tragedy. It could be one of the most depressing shows in existence. So it was the perfect show for me to binge watch repeatedly when my husband left me. Makes perfect since right? The show was practically made for the emotionally fragile woman going through an unwanted divorce. I mean I don’t really know who else is watching it..
I remember watching episode after episode. A woman who keeps bags of her own feces? Seems reasonable. A lady who buried herself under purses and moldy teddy bears. It could happen. Filling the empty pit of grief in your stomach by saving every newspaper you ever laid eyes on- it could help…who am I to judge. No running water because your house is so packed with junk you can’t fit an entire plumber in the kitchen to fix a pipe-that’s why God made rain. Haven’t seen the floor in your home for 7 years-seems legitimate. Have 72 cats, 1 dog and a parakeet- who doesn’t dream of this? These are my people. We are one..united in pain and sorrow and delusional thinking. They know my grief…they feel my rejection…they are showing the world how I feel on the inside with their hoards. Overwhelmed. Sad. Angry.
I remember at one point laying in my nest (bed) watching yet another Hoarders marathon. I was on ‘my side’ and I glanced over to the ‘X’s side’. It was covered with crap. Laundry..books..mail. Clothes and shoes. I think maybe a rolling pin and a cat. An empty water bottle and an almost empty jar of Vicks Vapor Rub. My wedding album in case I want to look at my Wedding Photos again at 3am. A real live pumpkin I painted with my daughter for Halloween. Stuff everywhere. Important stuff. I literally had 18 inches of space left in my king size bed. I had my own little hoard. My blinds were drawn tight and I was hunkered down. I was actually filling up my loss with shit.. I was teetering on the edge of the hoarders abyss. I have to admit this didn’t terrify me like you are thinking. I was oddly comforted by it. Unbelievable right?
My friends however- they foiled my genius plan. They were not as enamored as I was with the hoarding lifestyle. Apparently being depressed and slightly delusional is a requirement of this subculture. They kept cleaning up my house against my will..so my days as a potential Hoarder were short lived.
Just like my marriage…
Divorce Shoes 