But they have each other…

A friend of mine called me the other night…she was upset. She was struggling to get the words out through her tears. She had just been to the hospital to visit a family member who had recently been diagnosed with cancer.  This man is in his 60’s. He is hardworking. He is a family man. He has been there for my friend when she needed him. It’s not fair! Cancer is horrible… She was feeling understandably sad. She described him and his wife as just good old fashioned nice people. They live a simple life. And they are in love. She described them lying together in his hospital bed.

‘Should we get you a cot?’ she asked his wife. She was trying to be helpful.

‘No. We fit together just fine’ his wife replied. They haven’t been married  long. And now that they have found each other they don’t want to let go. I could picture them contentedly resting together in a hospital bed. Holding hands. She even described them smiling and laughing.

As my friend finished her story we both sat silently on the phone for a minute. Absorbing it quietly.  You see there is something in that story that we both want. Something so incredibly beautiful.  In that hospital room were two people who have found each other to love. They have succeeded in finding a fulfilling and unconditional romantic love. And that is something special. It is something different than the love between a parent and child. (Which is no less awesome…) But it is different.  They chose each other. They have committed themselves to one another, for better or for worse. And right now they are facing the ‘worse.’  This couple is facing something terrible. But they aren’t alone. They have each other. So that makes it bearable.

When I’m out and about I am always fascinated by the elderly couples. I admire them. On any given Sunday after church you will see an older couple out to lunch. Wearing their best clothes and talking quietly to each other across the table. I love it! I am inspired by stories of couples celebrating their 50+ years together.  I enjoy seeing those sweet pictures of golden anniversaries on Facebook.  Or how about the bittersweet stories of couples who die just hours apart…those articles get me every single time. Bring on the Kleenex.

Because you know what? Those people didn’t have perfect lives. Perfect lives don’t exist! In fact they probably had some really hard times. I’m positive they did! Everyone has problems. Money problems. Work problems. Family problems. Health problems. They had stress and strife. Maybe they even dealt with infidelity! I bet they even fought over dishes and laundry. Over bad kids and overbearing mother-in-laws. Who doesn’t!  But guess what? They stuck it out. Together. It seems to me that those couples who are able to stick it out through all the shitty stuff that life throws at them…they are rewarded with the great stuff in the end.  And in my mind that is a beautiful thing.

As divorced woman in my 40’s this is something that I think about.  I don’t mean for it to sound pathetic. Or needy. But it is something I want. I want someone to ‘grow old’ with! Not because I’m afraid of being alone. At least not entirely… I want to find someone to ‘grow old’ with because I think it would bring joy to my life. It would represent my ability to come full circle. Maybe it will be marriage. Maybe not. But it will be a relationship that I can count on. A person that chooses me above all others. And vice versa. The older you get the more clear it becomes that the true successes in life have to do with the relationships that you build. The love that you share. The commitments you keep. It won’t be about how much money is in your wallet, how successful your company is, what car you drove, or how clean your kitchen was. It won’t even be about the shoes that you wear.  It will all be about love.

And love is beautiful no matter what shoes it is wearing.👠

LOVE CAN RULE THE WORLD…❤️