Tag: bitch

I have a question…

 

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I have a  couple questions for the Homewrecker. Some things I really want to know. They are pretty simple really…

Who do you think you are? What the hell were you thinking? Was it the excitement? The attention?  His money? What was it? Why? Seriously. I am 100% positive it wasn’t the sex. Or his looks. My bet is on the money…

You knew he was married. You were married! You knew he had children. So for the life of me I just don’t understand how you made it ok in your head. I can’t even fathom crossing that kind of boundary. It’s not ok. Ever. While you were engaged in your exciting illicit affair- he had kids at home asking where there daddy was. Pretty sexy, huh?

The first time I met the Homewrecker she was standing in my foyer. With her husband.  At our Christmas Party. We made small talk. Can you believe that shit? She was a woman my X worked with- and he wanted to invite her to our holiday ‘get together.’ And the Homewrecker happily accepted. Apparently thrilled!  She complimented our beautiful home. I vividly remember her commenting on our wedding photo’s hanging in the front hall. I remember it going something sort of like this…

“What a lovely home you have! So warm and inviting,” she gushed.

“Thank you. It’s a work in progress. But we enjoy it!”

“Oh…look at the pictures! How beautiful your dress was,” she said while admiring them with her husband. Her focus changed to the other pictures hanging in the front hall. “And these must be your children. How cute.”

“Thank you. You are so sweet!  Please come in and help yourself to something to drink. You can put your coat in the bedroom.” I was in full on hostess mode.

What balls this woman had! In my home. With her husband. I’m pretty sure she was already screwing mine. If not yet-she soon would be. It makes me furious to think about it. I opened my home to her. And she walked right in the front door with her head held high. No shame. How narcissistic can one person be? Isn’t there some kind of limit to the amount of selfishness one human being can have? Apparently not…

My X and the Homewrecker had, and continue to have, a relationship based on lies. I’m sure they don’t see it that way. But I do. Lie after lie.  Not only the lies that they told to others. Which are way too numerous to count. “I’m sorry. I will be late…I have to work.” “I have to leave by 5am tomorrow to meet with the drivers at work.” “I just need some space.” The lies they told to each other. Also very plentiful.  “No, I’m not sleeping with my husband anymore.” “My wife is so hard to get along with. She treats me terrible.”  But in my opinion- the most dangerous lies they told were to themselves. The ones they used to justify their hurtful behavior. “I’m so unhappy…I deserve this.” “She is such a disappointment…she will never be enough.” “I work so hard…I need some fun.” “I tried as hard as I could. I gave my all.” Those lies ended two marriages.

So again, I ask. Who do you think you are? I can tell you what I see if you want. You probably don’t care to much what I think. But I think I will tell you anyway. Just for fun. I see a narcissistic woman with no moral integrity. I see someone who hurt my children deeply with her actions. Someone that changed their world completely. (And not for the better-no matter what lie you tell yourself.)  You are selfish and self-serving. Dishonest and disloyal. You deserve a scarlet letter. Of course all of this is just my opinion.  And let me not forget to point out one more very important opinion…you wear ugly fucking shoes.👠

 

(And for the record- I have similar questions for my X-I know it takes two to tango. But I will leave those questions for another day. Today is all about you. Just like you like it…)

What if Karma is a nice lady?

 

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Hey Karma…I’m sorry.

It’s hard to comfort someone who is going through a bad time. A breakup. A divorce. A rude secretary at work. But a popular thing to say it seems is..’don’t worry, Karma’s a bitch..’ Lots of people have complete faith in this Karma person. They feel comforted by the thought of Karma waiting around in dark alleys getting ready to give the X ‘what they deserve..’

I’m not one of those people. I can’t help but try to figure out what I did to Karma. I mean I must have really pissed her off. She’s obviously not in a good mood. And let me assure you it was on accident. I hate hurting people’s feelings. I try not to be overtly judgmental (I just think it..not say it..). I am nice to children and animals. And old people! I always put my cart back when leaving the grocery store. I’m a good tipper. I never cheated on my spouse..

But Karma is mad. At me. And the X seems to be doing just fine. So what I’m thinking is this. Maybe we all need to start being nicer to Karma. Maybe she’s exhausted from all our dirty work and just wants to relax. Maybe instead of talking about what a bitch she is all the time, we should tell her how good she looks. How sweet her smile is.

‘Hey Karma, are those new shoes? They look fantastic!’

‘Karma your house is so clean! I don’t know how you do it!’

‘Have you lost weight Karma? You look so great!’

‘Hey you there. Karma is a nice lady. Stop calling her a bitch.’

So let me make an official statement. Karma, I’m sorry. So very sorry. For everything. So if you could lay off for a bit it would be real nice..❤️👠

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Anxiety..You bitch..

 

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Divorce–reality. Here I am. 4 1/2 years later. Can you believe that?

I woke up in a cold sweat this morning… 6 am on a Sunday. Anxiety you bitch…I can always count on you…always by my side. Money…kids…work. How to change the lightbulbs in the Chandelier over the stairs. Who the fuck put a Chandelier over the stairs that requires a 12 foot ladder, accident insurance and maximum flexibility to change the bulb? Let’s safely assume it was a man. But anyway…I shall lay here worrying about it. That will help. I will worry…and feel anxious and lament my current circumstances. This is a perfect solution! Then I will get up and eat some of my kids old Christmas candy for breakfast.

Here is a short run down of what my current circumstances entail.

1. 42ish year old divorced mother of 3 with 10 extra pounds and anxiety issues . Single white female. Working mother…blah blah blah.

2. I have currently no lights on my stairs because I don’t have a ladder that will reach…. And somehow while laying in bed at (now) 6:30 on a Sunday morning after eating chocolate for breakfast and going back to bed- my ‘lightlessness’ is a direct result of my divorce. (It’s like that game I heard about one time where everyone in Hollywood can be linked to Kevin Bacon in 3 steps. But in my life- the divorce is Kevin Bacon…) Rationale as follows- 1) Husband leaves me for his lawyer girlfriend 2) get divorced 3) move to new house with chandelier over stairs and no ladder.

I know that many will tell me to move on and move up. Or whatever… And I am! I’m trying. I’m moving. Constantly moving. Sometimes forward. Sometimes backwards..a lot of times in circles. But I AM moving.

Divorce is a process. Divorce is ‘the gift that keeps on giving.’ It gives you anxiety. It gives you regrets. It also gives you hope for something better to come along. An ongoing process for a woman who finds herself maneuvering life as an unexpected Uno. And that process is my life.

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